Poor Sweeney!
by JDeppIsMyLovely
Summary: Poor Thing in Sweeney's POV!


__**Hello again! I finished this up earlier today and have decided to post it! This is Poor Thing in Sweeney's POV and needless to say I do not own Sweeney Todd or Poor Thing.**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

_You got a room over the shop, haven't you? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out?_

If you get the hint.

_People think it's haunted._

What people? Do you _actually _have friends or visitors?

_Haunted?_

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

_Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong?_

Me. It's not haunted. Can I have the room now?

_You see, years ago something happened up here. Something not very nice._

Yeah, TELL ME about it!

_There was a barber and his wife._

Oh good! Story time!

_And he was beautiful..._

This story would be better if you had said she...

_A proper artist with a knife,_

An artist with a knife? What, did he artfully slice people?

_but they transported him for life._

Hmm, this sounds familiar...

_And he was beautiful..._

Really think you should change it to she...

_Barker his name was._

Wait a minute...

_Benjamin Barker._

Woah What a twist! That's me!

_What was his crime?_

I mean mine? What badass criminal act do you think I did?

_Foolishness..._

Well, that's not very badass…

_He had this wife, ya see._

Lucy! Speaking of which, where is she?

_Pretty little thing,_

Very pretty. Are you hiding her?

_silly little nit._

Hey, I heard that!

_Had her chance for the moon on a string..._

So, like a moon yo-yo?

_Poor thing!_

We weren't poor!

_Poor thing!_

I could've bought her a moon yo-yo if she had mentioned!

_There was this judge, ya see..._

Probably the one I'd like to murder.

_Wanted her like mad!_

Even if it's not, I'll kill him anyway.

_Every day he sent her a flower_

A flower? Singular? What a cheapskate!

_But did she come down from her tower?_

She better not! Just because I was unjustly incarcerated-the nerve!

_Sat up there and sulked by the hour_

That's what I'm gonna do! What weird, coincidental foreshadowing!

_Poor fool!_

She wasn't a fool!

_Ah, but there was worse yet to come_

There's more? My own life story is depressing me...

_Poor thing!_

She wasn't poor, woman!

_Well, Beadle calls on her all polite_

I'm not sure we have telephones yet...

_Poor thing!_

I'd feel bad if he wanted to talk to me too.

_Poor thing!_

She talked to him didn't she? Poor thing indeed.

_The judge, he tells her, is all contrite._

For sending me to Australia? It's cool, there were kangaroos!

_He blames himself for her dreadful plight_.

Oh it's all about her and not her non-guilty husband? Lame!

_She must come straight to his house tonight!_

Sounds like a booty call to me!

_Poor thing!_

Yes everyone is worried about her...

_Poor thing!_

But what about me?!

_Of course when she goes there..._

She gets shipped to Australia? Oh wait that was me.

_Poor thing!_

I'm killing all you people for not missing me.

_Poor thing!_

All. Of. You.

_They're having this ball all in masks._

Masquerade party?

_There's no one she knows there!_

That's because they're all in masks!

_Poor dear!_

Poor dear? She was at a party!

Poor thing!

Meanwhile, I was getting whipped. And not in a good way!

_She wanders, tormented and drinks!_

Probably champagne. That stuff is tasty!

_Poor thing!_

Poor people don't go to balls and drink champagne!

_The judge has repented, she thinks._

And he really doesn't right? This story is so predictable.

_Poor thing!_

She just couldn't have an unpredictable life, could she?

_"Oh where is Judge Turpin?" she asks..._

Knew it was the same judge! Two birds with one stone it seems...

_He was there, alright!_

Well, generally I don't throw a house party and then leave saying "don't steal anything!"

_Only not so contrite!_

Because only decent people would feel bad for sending an innocent man to prison so he could bang his wife.

_She wasn't no match for such craft, ya see._

He was pretty tricky, telling her to come to his house and all; it clearly didn't appear to be a trap.

_And everyone thought it so drôle._

Yes because it's hilarious to trap a woman in a house, not a rapist's habit at all.

_They figured she had to be daft, ya see._

So if she isn't the sharpest razor in the set, it's ok?!

_So all of them stood there and laughed, ya see!_

You're being emotional scarred right now; let us laugh at your misfortune!

_Poor soul!_

Her soul is fine. Mine, on the other hand, could do with a hug.

_Poor thing!_

_NO!_

SHE. WAS. NOT. POOR.

_Would no one have mercy on her?_

Anyone step forth and show their morality? No?

_So it is you. Benjamin Barker._

Yes, I used to live here. I want my room back.

_No! Not Barker. That man is dead. It's Todd now – Sweeney Todd. And he will have his revenge._

It is I, Benji-damn-Sweeney Todd! And I shall avenge my beloved wife! Oh, and kill a lot of people before I get to that. Nobody's perfect ok?

* * *

**So how was it? Please drop a review with your thoughts and thank you so much for reading! :) I love you all! **


End file.
